1. If you and I were squirrels, could I bust a nut in your hole?
2. I’d like to wrap your legs around my head and wear you like a feed bag.
3. If it’s true that we are what we eat, I could be you by morning!
4. How do you like your eggs: poached, scrambled, or fertilized?
5. I was about to go masturbate and I needed a name to go with your face.
6. Roses are red. Violets are blue. I like spaghetti. Let’s bang!
7. Is that a keg in your pants? ‘Cause I would love to tap that ass!
8. If your right leg was Thanksgiving and your left leg was Christmas, could I meet you between the holidays?
9. You remind me of a Championship bass, I don’t know whether to mount you or eat you!
10. Your parents must be retarded, because you are special.
11. Could I touch your belly button. . . . from the inside?
12. I’m not too good at algebra, but doesn’t u + i = 3D 69?
13. How about we play lion and lion tamer? You hold your mouth open, and I’ll put my head in.
14. I wish you were a door so I could slam you all day long.
15. Nice legs…what time do they open?
16. You’ve got 206 bones in your body, want one more?
17. Those clothes would look great in a crumpled heap on my bedroom floor.
18. My name is (name)…remember that, you’ll be screaming it later.
19. Do you work for UPS? I could have sworn I saw you checking out my package.
20. My love for you is like diarrhea, I just can’t hold it in.
21. Lets play Titanic, you’ll be the ocean and ill go down on you.
22. I’m easy. Are you?
23. I’m trying to determine after years of therapy and lots of testing, whether or not I’m allergic to sex.
24. That dress looks very becoming on you. Of course, if I were on you, I’d becoming too!
25. Wanna play Pearl Harbor?….Its a game where I lay back while you blow the hell out of me.
26. Excuse me, miss, do you give head to strangers? No. Well, then, allow me to introduce myself.
27. You’re like a prize winning fish. I dont know whether to eat you or mount you.
28. I’d like to kiss you passionately on the lips, then move up to your belly button.
29. You must work at Subway, cause you just gave me a footlong.
30. Where you born on a farm? Cause you sure know how to raise a cock!
31. Would you like to try an Australian kiss? It is just like a French kiss, but down under.
32. A cat falls into the water & the rooster laughs. What’s the moral of the story??? A wet pussy alway’s makes a happy cock.
33. I may not be Mr. Right, but I’ll screw you til he shows up.
34. What has 148 teeth and holds back the incredible hulk? My Zipper!
35. If I flip a coin, what do you reckon my chances are of getting head?
36. Hi. I’m an astronaut, and my next mission is to explore Uranus.
37. Hey baby, as long as I have a face, you’ll have a place to sit.
38. The only reason I would kick you out of bed would be to bang you on the floor.
39. Do you want to come over to my place and feed your beaver some wood?
40. Smile! It is the second best thing you can do with your lips.
